How Tall are Putin, Elon Musk, Elsa, and Batman?
“Of course they’re terrified, to be truthful,” Stephen Colbert said. “You lose no matter what anyone says to a lunatic employer.”
This excerpt is from The Daily Beast’s Obsessed, a pop culture newsletter authored by senior entertainment correspondent Kevin Fallon. Sign up here to receive the complete email in your inbox each week.
Lifetime Invested in the Theater While seeing ‘The Batman’
Beginning to feel left out, so I went to see The Batman this week. The picture is a big box-office success, and reviews for Robert Pattinson’s take on the Caped Crusader and Zoe Kravitz’s version of Catwoman have been primarily positive. ALSO, IT IS THREE HOURS LONG. Sorry, I didn’t plan to shout.
I was still reeling from that ridiculous running time. Instead, say it in the fine tradition of recent Batman actors’ marble-mouthed, muttered, barely audible raspy whispers: it’s also three hours long.
That’s nearly enough time to see Sister Act and Sister Act 2. Back in the Habit, something I wish I had done with my twilight instead—though that isn’t entirely fair because it is something I usually wish I had done with most evenings. But the reality is that I did watch 3 hours of The Batman, so doing the only thing I can think of to make it worthwhile: I’m turning it into a video game.
Here are my opinions on The Batman
First and only, was Robert Pattinson always that… big? It’s a question I considered for three hours, at one point losing myself in mental mathematics, unbalancing his accurate height and shoulder spread.
Suppose we’re going to indulge the notion that DC superheroes must be more moody and angsty than your specific teenage Taking Back Sunday fan circa 2004. In that case, his casting is more petite of a shocking, out-of-the-box pick than I had first imagined. After about two hours, though, you know what, this Bruce Wayne makes sense.
The Riddler’s greeting card riddles were pretty. I was worried that the local Gotham Hallmark power had run out of stock after nearly three hours. Commissioner Gordon, played by Jeffrey Wright, was an essential character, and then he and Pattinson had beautiful chemistry. As we entered the last hour of this three-hour film, they had a sweet sequence that I suddenly exclaimed, “Kiss!”
Compared to the Marvel Cinematic Universe flicks, I was specifically taken by the physical effects and stunts in this picture. There were many of them all over the film, which was three hours long and so long that I had a second meal at the waiter-service theater where I was viewing it.
The Last Survivors
In the trailer for Last Survivors, a father (Steve Moyer) who raised his kid (Drew Van Acker) in a post-apocalyptic woods realizes that Armageddon may have been grossly exaggerated after sneaking into Alicia Silverstone’s house.
The Bride’s Malevolence
The Malevolent Bride, an A+E Studios “supernatural thriller” miniseries starring Tom Avni, Lioz Levy, Maya Wertheimer, Hisham Suliman, Dar Zuzovsky, Esti Adi Gilat, and Elisha Banai, will begin filming later this week. The plot “follows the search for an angry spirit haunting an unwary Hasidic community in modern-day Jerusalem.” A pair of odd demon-hunters–Hasidic psychologist Malki Price (Levy) & agnostic teenage physicist Dov Beer (Avni)–join forces to expose the origins of the demonic spirit.
HEIGHT, WEIGHT, AND STATS OF ELON MUSK
According to sources, Elon, who’s 50 years old, stands 1.88m (6ft 2in) tall. He is said to weigh 82 kg.
While Elon’s intellect has always garnered attention, his athletic capabilities are equally important. According to reports, the Tesla owner is a Jiu-Jitsu practitioner from Palo Alto, California.
Since he was a child, Elon has also known Kyokushin karate, taekwondo, and judo. Elon hasn’t fought in a long time, but he seems ready for a fight.
In truth, Elon had invited Johnny Depp to a ring battle in 2020 amid accounts that he was in a relationship with the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean star’s ex-wife, Amber Heard.
EXPLORING VLADIMIR PUTIN’S HEIGHT, WEIGHT, AND STATS
According to sources, Putin, who is 69 years old, is 168cm (5ft 5in) tall. He is said to weigh 70kg. Putin, like Elon, has prior combat experience.
He held a black belt in judo and co-wrote Judo: History, Theory, Practice. The book’s body also features a photograph of Putin. Meanwhile, other videos on the internet show Russian President Vladimir Putin exercising.
ELON MUSK TWEET WHAT?
Elon has been assisting Ukraine in any way he can. He also questioned Putin about a bachelor battle and published the tweets with his millions of Twitter followers.
“I now challenge Vladimir Putin to single combat,” he added. Ukraine is at stake.” Elon tweeted in Russian, tagging the Kremlin’s official Twitter handle, “Do you approve of this fight?
It rains a lot in Gotham. I sat outside for three hours, watching it rain. Zoe Kravitz was enthralling as Catwoman, without succumbing to the temptation to overact but rising to the more operatic and corny moments. During the three-hour film, I forgot she was in it; it was a great surprise when she reappeared after a lifetime! Of course, the usual gratuitous shirtless photo and the slow zoom on the bulging muscles that New Batman Player worked so hard to get were well brought. They turned up twice, like small lusty alarm clocks buzzing every three hours.
However, following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, the European Judo Federation divulged that his taekwondo black belt had been revoked. “Because of the current military situation in Ukraine, the International Judo Federation announces the suspension of Mr. Vladimir Putin’s part as Honorary President and Ambassador of the International Judo Federation,” the tweet stated.